Get Out There and Work or You Won’t Have a Job

2010
03.08

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“The camps of the Huns enjoyed a spirited life with pronounced fluctuations in joy and sorrow. Victory brought about joy, sounds of celebration and ephemeral feelings of security . The death ( firings , downsizing), of warriors , periods of diminished supplies ( our recent economic crisis lending, mortgage crisis , oil and gas prices etc) and tribal struggles ( struggles at the top , mergers , corporate upper echelon management infighting and backstabbing”, brought on sorrow and despair

source: Leadership Secrets of Atilla the Hun

Does this sound eerily like your workplace or office – especially during “training ” or “meeting ” sessions.
It was once remarked and noted by an experienced salesman at one such event – “I have been with many outfits . Its all the same . They are all the same. They bring you to nice digs out in the middle of nowhere ( control issues , to isolate employees to have their full undivided attention) , they feed you well , pour great amount of liquor down your throats.

Yet in the end it is always the same message :Get out there on your asses or work or you won’t have a job !”

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Lord Help Us

2010
03.08

And you wonder why the North American economy is in such trouble ?

It continues to be an amazement that in comparison to most of the rest of the world America is looked up to as the model of efficiency and effectiveness – productivity that most other places in the world can only look up to and emulate.  It reminds one of Winston Churchill’s remark that “Democracy is the worst form of government by far…. except for the others”.

If what we all put up with in terms of doing our jobs in spite of management , red tape and government bureaucrats who just smile , implement “strict privacy laws”  which seem to have great penalties – but are only applied to taxpayers and citizens – while not being applied in any measure to the day to day activities of those same departments.

Appeal treatment , you may get reams of policy statements , your rights as a taxpayer , ratepayer etc etc, yet the agencies have “Ombudsman”   to deal with such issues.  Yet these individuals are part of the whole same system , who want to stay out of the limelight , keep their budgets and obtain their valued promotions and raises.  It seems they can not be counted on any in any manner to step out of line and do ” the right thing”  Its all one giant game .

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Sacred Cows

2010
03.06

The following questions may well help you to identify sacred cows or “the sacred cows”  in your organization or workplace setting.

Wikipedia defines sacred cow as “The term sacred cow has passed into the English language to mean an object or practice which is considered immune from criticism, especially unreasonably so.[1][2] The phrase is based on a popular understanding of the status of cows as ’sacred’ in some Asian religions.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacred_cow

Further elaboration yields : ”

Sacred cow

From the Simple English Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can change

In the relgion of Hinduism, the animal called a “cow” is thought to be sacred, or very holy. Most Hindus respect the cow for her gentle nature which represents the main teaching of Hinduism, non-injury (ahimsa). The cow also represents ghee and strength . Hindus do not worship the cow, but the cow is very honored in society, and most Hindus do not eat beef (the meat that come from cows). By honoring this gentle animal (living thing that isn’t a plant) that gives more than it takes, Hindus honor all creatures.

Contents

Elaboration

No sacred cows on farms, Mutambara vows : The Zimbabwe Times
- Deputy Prime Minister Mutambara, there is a sacred cow known as Edna Mudzongwe that has occupied a farm in the latest farm invasions. What are you going to do about it? We await your action and commitment to your word Mr. Mutambara. We can hear that cow mooing as we speak, … What if there was another accident and you will all accuse Zanu-PF of not allowing these MDC MPs to use government vehicles to carry out their day to day work. Never mind – Tsvangirai will learn. …

Restoring Soul through Community: sacred cows in American life
- sacred cows in American life. Sometimes I wonder why many (not all) of the very folks opposing government regulatory actions – such as financial markets regulation, or gun control – harshly apply Biblical Law in other arenas and speak …

Obama to Cabinet: Show Me Your Cost Cuts – Political Punch
- “In this effort, there will be no sacred cows, and no pet projects. All across America, families are making hard choices, and it’s time their government did the same.” “We simply cannot afford to perpetuate a system in Washington where politicians …… They want more of the old trickle down Reagan style economics that has proven not to work. Sure , booming deficits are an issue … but this is not normal times . Obama needs to clean up the mess left to him by the GOP ! …

Rep. John Boehner cites cows’ flatulence to defend his sacred …
- Rep. John Boehner uses “cow farts” to denie that carbon emissions affect climate change. … BOEHNER: When it comes to the issue of climate change, George, it’s pretty clear that if we don’t work with other industrialized nations around the world, what’s going to happen is that we’re going to ship millions of American jobs overseas. We have to deal with this in a responsible way. STEPHANOPOULOS: So what is the responsible way? That’s my question. …

The Meaning of Virtue: Modus Operandi of Satan
- Chapter 7: The Abrahamic Covenant ~ The sixth characteristic of Virtue is our part of the Covenant that God made to Abraham and his Descendants: How the Gospel applies to our grand extended family: Work for the Dead and other ordinances. Coming Mar. 15 (tentative) … Zen: “He who would be a man, would be an iconoclast” : Ralph Waldo Emerson – - – So many sacred cows, so many golden calves, just waiting for a barbeque… View my complete profile.

The NAS Panel on Data Availability « Climate Audit
- Since they are convinced of their dogma (or afraid of harming sacred cows of others who may be funding them) they delay so that others, such as our host, might not be able to “muddy the waters” with critical analysis. This is a common bureaucratic practice. … Deans, colleagues, and friends must also decide how to react. Lots more could be said. Anyway, I’m not arguing that this is the proper way for university researchers to conduct their work – only that many have. …

Budget 2009: The waste myth | Coffee House
- Nothing in defence – apart from what the Americans call “homeland security” – is a sacred cow in this economic environment, and I hope the Tories have the guts to discuss this, not be captive to superannuated officers and their pet projects . …. However, right at the start you have to set a budget figure that is affordable and then divide it up. Nothing else is going to work. Will either a Labour or Conservative government do that? That really is a forlorn hope! …

ProgressPolitics » Your Weekly Address – FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY …
- That starts with the painstaking work of examining every program, every entitlement, every dollar of government spending and asking ourselves: Is this program really essential? … In this effort, there will be no sacred cows, and no pet projects. All across America, families are making hard choices, and it’s time their government did the same. That is why I have assembled a team of management, technology, and budget experts to guide us in this work – leaders who will …

In Hinduism, the cow is a symbol wealth, strength, abundance, selfless giving and a full Earthly life.

magnify clip Sacred Cows

In Hinduism, the cow is a symbol wealth, strength, abundance, selfless giving and a full Earthly life.

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It is not known whether the cow was sacred and forbidden in the Hindu diet from ancient Vedic times. However, reverence for cows can be found in all the religion’s major texts.

sacred cow

The cow gives milk and cream, yogurt and cheese, butter and ice cream, ghee and buttermilk. The milk of a cow is believed to refine a person. The ghee (clarified butter) from the milk is used in ceremonies and in preparing religious food. Cow dung is used as fertilizer, as a fuel and as a disinfectant in homes. Modern science states that the smoke from cow dung is a powerful disinfectant and is good against pollution. The cow’s urine is also used for religious ceremonies as well as for medical reasons.”

http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacred_cow

It is best to start off by identifying the “cows”,  but at the moment don’t rush headlong into trying to herd the cows , chase them away or even deprive them of food , nutrition ( cash salary).   For example the ritual of going through “junk mail “  or “spam”  was one person’s self acknowledged sacred cow

A procedural list for sacred cows

1) List any systems , procedures. policies or habits that are outdated and that can be changed

note -  the worst organizations often have the best procedures and procedure manuals.  They have little else to do.  The prosperous , upgoing companies are often on the fly “doing work”.  They have no time to revamp systems.  There is productive work to do.  Yet their systems are often hodge podge and ramshackle -leaving new employees confused.  Some “management type:  often has to take them down the right of inconsistencies and simply tell them ” It makes no sense but this is how its done”.

2) What are the aspects of the jobs that you like the least , that are seen as “a drag”  or “drags” and wear you and other employees or seem like ‘busywork”

3)Which of any of the sacred cows are policies and procedures inherited from predecessors or idiot former managers ( some of which may be ceo’s at present)

4) Sacred cows which come courtesy of another department but can never be challenged due to “turf”  and “control “  issues.  You would think that you are working for different firms or at the least are on another planet.  What a bunch of stupidiyt.

5) If you can visualize yourself going through a typical  day , week, month or even year is there a list of routines at the office.  Mail comes in such a time , person c takes it from desk to desk.  It can never be done any other way or panic sets in .  Sounds familiar.  Why not break these routines – at least for fun

If you think if a comedy group – second city , Saturday night live -  were to attend most businesses and organizations they would have more fodder for material than they could handle in a lifetime – all with these sacred cows

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Religious Institutions Ethics and Employment

2010
02.25

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Try this on for size.  You might be concerned about poor bosses , bad management practices or even bosses who you suspect have an alcohol or substance abuse problem or problems.   Yet there are certain organizations and elements of society that you would consider beyond reproach.  Among the most ethical individuals , authorities and institutions that you could ever run across , donate to , or work for.

Certainly these groups would preach and practice fairness , the essential nature of the “Golden Rule”  – that you treat people in a manner that you would wish to be treated yourself , and not do things or activities to that you consider undesirable , if not bad or downright evil.  The “Golden Rule”  is not a case of :” the rules are golden as they are my rules”

Consider this example of management practices in the current year of 2009:

“Sme people recently laid-off from religious institutions in Virginia said they were shocked to find the state does not offer them unemployment benefits.

Carol Bronson, who was laid off from her secretarial job at Temple Emanuel synagogue in Virginia Beach, said she was told her unemployment claim was denied because the tax exemptions for religious organizations under Virginia law include an exemption from paying unemployment taxes, The (Norfolk) Virginian-Pilot reported Monday.

“I had no idea that there would not be any benefits for me after leaving my job,” she said.

Rabbi Howard Mandell of Temple Emanuel said the synagogue was unaware of the Virginia tax law at the time of the layoff.

Jane Dembert, who worked for 17 years at the Christ and St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in Norfolk, most recently as director of communications, said she was also surprised to have her unemployment claim denied after she was laid-off earlier this year.

Coleman Walsh, chief administrative law judge with the state employment commission, said most people he has spoken to were unaware that faith-based groups are exempt from unemployment taxes.

The Catholic Diocese of Richmond has a voluntary self-insurance arrangement with the state that allows laid-off workers to file for unemployment. If the claim is accepted, the state bills the diocese for the amount of the benefits collected by the recipient.”

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It is Not Possible to Get Along With Everyone & Everybody

2010
02.24

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While it is true that you want in life to “get along with everybody” in real and practical terms – this is not possible.100 % is not possible , and certainly 110% is not possible whereas some sales manager types will demand and insist that we must have 125 – 300 %.  According to any definition dealing with the here and now and reality – this is not possible by any means in our current universe – perhaps in Coast to Coast’s guests “alternative universe’s ” but even then.  What a bunch of morons.

True in real life and in paracticialities ,  there will always be a few difficult people who, no matter what you do – or for sake no not do , its a 100 % impossible task to be involved with these morons and low lifes in any manner shape or form.

You can refuse to answer the phone and take the call – when you see their distinctive number on your call display

Jerk-Off or better 1-800-jerkoffs.  In those rare instances , you can work to switch to metaphors and think of dealing with people who you can tolerate  as  a learning experience – a trip to the communication gym for a great and even trying workout.   Difficult people can ultimately help you in working out your  “communication muscles’ and develop great “communications stamina”.  In turn , so to speak. this may well be the silver lining in an otherwise dark cloud.

Otherwise its a matter of   “Call Kirk”

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Difficult People in Life and on the Jobsite

2010
02.24

People that you somehow can not – or wish to never understand .  The “Ted Stevens”  types in the wide wide world.

There are simply those difficult do to say the least do not do what you want them to do – and to say the least you do not know what to do about them – to put it simply and mildly.

Turn the tables.  You do not have to be the victim anytime nor anymore. While you cannot change “difficult people” , as much as you wish and dream – in some manner you can get them out of their shell and somehow communicate with them.

Well perhaps. All in all it is a matter of knowing how to get under their skin , into their mind and mindset when they are behaving “badly”.

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Airforce One 2009 (Billie Jean by Michael Jackson)

2010
01.28

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Obama – tales out of school

2010
01.28

And you think that you told tales out of school ?
note Mr. Obama’s – President Obama’s State of the Union Address -

This is the same person who campaigned on “Openness and Honesty” , a “Green Platform”, Cap and Trade and then goes on to take an empty Boeing Jetliner to Hawaii with his family , buddies and bodyguard

I guess if Mr. Soros pays the cap and trade carbon tax that makes it “fine”



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Barak Obama the Movie

2010
01.28

Barak Obama the Movie ???

And you think that you told “tall tales” and stories to your boss ??

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Management Explanation of Outsourcing of Jobs in Lucrative Industries

2010
01.10

America’s  current economic woes did not come out of thin air. Its not only a matter and question of economics , interest rates , banks and the bailout and tarp funds.  It goes much deeper and was a long time coming.

Take for example this auto magazine article – or a mild press release , published in Oct 1992 dealing with  BMW’s announcement to open its American factory in North Carolina.  You have to remember that this is a highly subsidized announcement -  each state made great pitches , offers and tax saving inducements to the firm , to relocate ( move from where Germany ?), to the chosen US state.  Its more than amazing at how much is spent on these deals , whether it was in North Carolina or the Southern US states to build what are in effect “Screwdriver Plants”.

The greatest amount of value added is in the home country – be it Japan for Toyota or Nissan , or in this case Germany for BMW.  The really high paying jobs and skills are offshore , not in China at low dollars but rather back at “Head Office”.  Its only the mundane low paying jobs so to speak that are offered , after all of these great subsidies.  When one figures out the cost per worker, including all subsidies , to the American taxpayers you have to wonder if it would not just of been better to have paid the workers – or assemblers – just to stay home or go duck hunting.

Interesting – hidden in the middle of the press release gushing article – inside the paragraph dealing as to why BMW execs choose North Carolina over others ,  “not the least was easy access to air, rail, and highway routes , is the statement “And while initially up to 80 % of the components will be imported from Germany…… there is a good possibility ( although not probability) , that some type ( not types), of manufacturing capability ( not plural), may be added in the future.

And you think that your boss is a moron.

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What a Bunch of Morons !

2009
11.25

What are some tips and strategies for dealing with the big “BIG BULLY”  of them all – your foolish and stupid boss.   Send your boss a poem perhaps.

1) Be ostentatiously loyal – no matter how hard it is , it seems  or how downright foolish and demanding it may be of your intelligence and patience.  Time heals all so they say.

It has been noted in the management literature and the schools of hard knocks that bullies seem to demand a visible show of fealty – the Merriam Webster dictionary defines fealty as the “fidelity of a vassal or a feudal tenant to his Lord”.  Can you think of a better description of the situation.

The expression is “When in Rome do as the Romans”.

The most amazing thing is that you might think that your behaviour might be suspect .  Suck-holing they might of called it in school.  Yet remember here that you are dealing with abject morons.  It turns out that in most cases they are gratified at what they see again as more examples of their apparent power and powers over others.  To be expected from greatness of course.   The only one right and correct answer to the situation.  It simply reaffirms the important motto – that the rules are golden , and they are my rules.

What a bunch of morons !

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A Good Place to Take Your Boss

2009
11.24

A good place to take your boss for  a standard customer ’service call’
No doubt about it
Start planning that customer ’service call
Not unlike the auto dealership where a customer went on on a routine assessment call – was shot – but be reassured that the gun went off accidentally !

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The Boss Came Back

2009
11.24

Is there a way to do the above but yet still retain your personal dignity and self of self ? Afraid not my dear. The best you can do is hope that these events happen in far off Greenland or perhaps off the road or in a truck stop on the way to Fort McMurray .  Better yet leave your boss by the roadside in the dead of winter far away from any visible sources of transportation , phone service or any availability or potential for help.

After all would he not of treated you in this manner , or has done many many times.

One little boss , how hard can it be ?





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The Creator Put Your Boss on the Earth for a Function

2009
11.24

To be or not to to be.

You might think that your boss or supervisor was put on earth by the creator him or herself for that very role in the universe – in the creation of things , events , places and situations in the entire universe .

How grandiose and downright preposterous .

You might well think that your manager grew up in the family of an alcoholic top down management style  of  the Romans,  a biker gang , General Motors or perhaps the railway.

Some things remain in the blood so to speak , and can never be learnt over , or unlearned.

What a waste of time.  Most people somehow complete their work, satisfy their customer base all somehow working around or in spite of their management  and  “head office”

Perhaps it can be viewed that the creator put your boss on earth as a personal test to yourself , your work ethics , morals and scruples.

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Bad Interviews Can Be a Good Thing

2009
11.21

You may well , in your past life , attended an interview and felt that the interviewer was more nervous ( and even more foolish than you being at the interview , or even not to smart for working for the particular firm or boss in the first place).

What to do ?  The first answer is to be polite and perhaps even deferential.  After all the person may have a better reason for being there – that is often than a case of “management on the brain” or hero worship. Perhaps they are supporting their sick mother or dog , and they need the money to support the family or these “causes”.

All in all , its best to be quiet . Polite   Get the interview over quickly. Leave.  Never think about such foolish and stupid things again.

Always remember the parable of “Chicken little”

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The Blinded Leading the Blind

2009
11.11

Try to figure this out as a good example of gobbledygook.
“The next four chapters are each organized around each of the major themes just set out, which encompass our theory of trans formative leadership and empowerment. Starting now emphasis will shift from the leader as an individual with certain personal attributes of an organization. Putting it more precisely. Our focus will change from leader effectiveness. Accordingly. The next four chapters will address the implementation of our theory or how more simply, leaders empower organizations.

Empower organizations? Empower individuals? This is slavery by words and deeds if one can only get out of the mire and muck of elusive and flighty logic that is add odds with itself and as well impossible to comprehend in any full , understandable or enlightening manner of thought or pattern. A paradox of paradigms. The blind leading the blinded.

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A Fable of a Workplace – Well Perhaps

2009
11.07

A Fable of a productive workplace

Once there was a happy worker ant – so happy and productive

She came to work every day cherry and happy

At the end of the day she had earned her paycheck well

Well not all to well in the world of upper management and theories of personality and production

The boss a lion , thinking and pondering , while evaluating just how smart he was since he was the boss came to the conclusion that with this level of productivity and profit that given there was no supervision , and since the ant was “only a worker”  that events and profits would be much greater if a supervisor was employed ( not unlike the Pharaoh’s management team – the overseers)

A supervisor “The Cockroach” was hired due to the inherent ability of the Cockroach supervisory character to write good reports.

Once the Cockroach as hired , well he decided and determined that he needed a secretary both to enhance the size of his departmental budget, to issue the orders and to type out the reports.  Not that the budget did not have an allotment for a new Dell 8 core computer complete with a color laser printer and collator

Now amazing reports could be issued for board meetings as well as salary reviews for the staff demonstrating why raises could not be awarded,  yet while pointing out the wonderful stats of the upper management

Its all who tells the story and how the trend lines are drawn and laid out

Add to that all the whiz bang colors and the abilities of sophisticated color graphics to dazzle , camouflage and emphasize

Guess what now a spider needed to be hired simply to manage the data in the new time clock system ( introduced by the Cockroach)  as well as to monitor bathroom breaks and record phone calls.

Amazingly things had run just fine before with no time clock what so ever

Graphs and charts were provided on a regular basis to  upper management , for board meetings,  upper management and the directors of the company were rewarded with large bonuses and even stock options and travel perks

The CEO and his wonderful results ( according to graphs always listing upwards)  were a continual fixture in the Wall Street Journal

Somehow a lag came to the business. It came to finger pointing time.  Poor production levels and profit from that one department.

Guess who was fired -  the ant since that employee suffered from poor morale and an unsubstantial “work ethic”

So goes the merry go round

Wonder where it will stop ?

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Job Performance – Work Attendance – Interview Questions

2009
11.06

You may well of had a situation at a border crossing of being asked “Where were you born ?”. Puzzling you may think as I am an “American ” with a valid American passport and documentation. Why should I be asked “Where am or was I born ?”

In the same way you may be asked in a job interview about absences at work and your attendance record. This may even be for an interview for a firm that either pays by a commissions structure or in its mind gives lip service to phrases such as ” First and foremost we reward results…. we…. solid performance.” Its a case of lack of comprehension of simple concepts or / and dealing with idiots and morons. A little knowledge can be said to be a dangerous thing in the hands of less than proficient management.

What should matter first and foremost is results – your productivity and as well ( perhaps) consistency. There are no shortage of apparently loyal employees and various workers “screwing the dog” aka putting in time., all for that large pension or “golden handshake ” at the end of it all .
It could be said that the bonus system of management for the American auto industry and financial system is delusional and indeed theft and is more than a false measure of job performance and productivity. However in the end someone has to pay the piper . Hopefully that is someone else than you , somewhere else.

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Answers to Routine Psychological Interview Question “Who Would You Most to be Born As in the Whole Wide World ?”

2009
11.06

Another standard interview question or query that indeed evolved into a classic joke with a punchline is along the lines of   “If you could be anyone in the world who would you like to be or have you often wished you were born as someone else in another family setting ?”  In the humorous version the answer given to the puzzled interviewer is  “Alberta Pipilini”  .  The puzzled interviewer ponders the answer  – not understanding the answer or knowing who the person of fame  Alberta Pipiliniis or where she resides , and in what capacity.

This is a psychological question  with deep hidden  inner meanings and desires revealed.

It turns out that when the interviewer reframes the question – that the person in question is not  person in the flesh but rather the oil pipeline of Alberta (Canada)  (Alberta pipeline) , who the interviewee ( most likely female) , and  that “Alberta Pipelini was laid by a thousand men in the course of six months”.

Well at least the interview question ruled out one candidate on the grounds of intelligence or perhaps helped choose a new executive secretary for the boss.

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Obama – Union Leader at the Fontainebleau Resorts Miami Beach

2009
11.05

It is surreal .   It is beyond belief.

Are Americans as foolish and downright stupid as it appears to take this storybook pablum from their elected political leaders.  Its as if you have your moronic boss as your political leader.

It can be noted and said that a main reason that there are no more than 2 political parties in the American political system is that is akin to having two drug stores in a country town.  Country town usually have one drug store or two never three.  One drug store is OK.  Two allows for trouble making customers to swing between stores – and is a good thing for the owners of the pharmacies .  In addition it allows for long weekends in the summers for one or other outlets to close .  Its all for convenience of the profit makers not for the consumer or those being served.

In a similar manner there are only two political parties.   Get mad at one – you have an alleged option and alternative as  a consumer or in this case citizen / voter / taxpayer.

However this time the fraud and deceit goes beyond anything imaginable.

Imagine this .  Your wallet is drained.   You fear for losing your job and home.  What of your family ?  Things should be tough.  Hold off.  Restraint of discretionary and luxury spending that can be held off till times improve and the tide turns .

And yet – what are Obama and his cronies doing ?
The Union leaders – in this case the AFL-CIO as an example – the self proclaimed “America’s Union Movement”,

are being wined and dined at the fantastic  Fontainebleau Resorts Miami Beach Resort.  Rooms start – that is start – at 400 $ US a night -  that is not ocean view – its a room facing a closet.  Wining and dining -  while the average America citizen wines in horror.    Sure hope that the organizers got a group discount corporate rate.

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Your Boss as the Manager of the Bus

2009
11.04

Imagine your boss as the manager and supervisor of a school-bus

Here he is indeed after a careful search and hiring process by the below questionnaire – no expense  ( of the expense and travel accounts )  was spared in the search for accurate testing process for new hires and company presidents.

The much fabled “Xerox PSS Course”  ” Sell me that pen” ,  could be summarized as little more than close to $ 5,000 spent hire or trained monkey all to learn to repeat the phrase – “hmm”

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Gastic Work Related Ulcer on the Way

2009
11.01

A classic tale of a gastic ulcer – its development , growth under the stress of work related moronic causes :

Ulcer at Work

Excellent noir-type film about pressures facing a white-collar worker whose ulcer drives him to…

Ulcer at Work (1957)

Excellent noir-type film about pressures facing a white-collar worker whose ulcer drives him to psychological extremes.

This movie is part of the collection: Prelinger Archives

Director: Ned Hockman

Producer: Dwight Swain

Production Company: University of Oklahoma

Sponsor: Oklahoma State Department of Health

Audio/Visual: sound, b&w

Keywords: Mental health; Ulcers; Motion pictures: Film noir

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Run time: 28:38

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Jerks Voted and Awarded for in Other Fields

2009
11.01

i guess it is not only in the field of administration and management that one finds difficult individuals to work for and along with – 0r downright incompetent and almost perceived as evil.

Check this out from the legal community concerning interactions in the days of technology and the internet fields of marketing and research in terms of the service – or alleged service -  Lexus nexis:

’s funny how some big companies just don’t understand the internet. And it’s infuriating when they breach simple rules of netiquette. LexisNexis wins the Biggest Jerk Award today.

I linked to Lexis

I wrote an article (Lunch, Break, and Hour Laws) over a year ago that linked to one of Lexis’ products. Ironically, that article is the most popular one on my entire site.

I provided a link to Lexis’ lawyer directory, since I thought it added some value to the post. And based on the number of visitors that post receives, I’m sure Lexis has received some traffic from me. I’ve also linked to their sites in other articles throughout my two years of running Legal Andrew.

Lexis complained

A few days ago, I received the following email from a LexisNexis “Content Specialist.” I have added emphasis and removed their links.

Hello,
LexisNexis website ***removed*** has recently upgraded its websites and would you to update/add our links. For generations students have relied on Martindale-Hubbell as the authoritative resource for information on the worldwide legal profession. With a history spanning 140 years, the Martindale-Hubbell Legal Network hopes to provide authoritative legal resources to you.
Please update our links on the following page:

http://www.legalandrew.com/2007/06/07/lunch-break-and-hour-laws-you-should-know/

Please use the following links and text:
Law Firm directory from Martindale
The phrase “Law Firm” should be the clickable link to ***removed***. The following sentence “directory from Martindale” should be plain text (not the clickable link). (”Law Firm” should be the hyperlink)
Also LexisNexis has re-launched its new website for Lawyers.com and would like you to add our links on the page listed above.
Please use the following links and text:
***truncated here***

As you can see, they’re asking for me to change the links that I have given them to use the specific anchor text they’re targeting. And they want me to add links to their other sites.

Let me think about that… HECK NO!

What self-respecting website owner would EVER ask someone to do this? “Hey, thanks for the link. But please use the proper anchor text.”

I tried to educate Lexis

What kind of blogger would I be, if I didn’t help Lexis understand their error?

I responded to Lexis’ email:

I understand that you are just doing your job, but I am insulted by this email. I hope you can pass that along to your supervisor.
I included Martindale in an article I wrote over a year ago. I essentially gave LexisNexis free publicity, traffic, and search engine “juice.”
And now I receive this email from you guys that I need to update that link to reflect your targeted anchor text. AND I should add your other links as well. That is not the way to do business online and create goodwill among internet publishers.
I would be happy to have LexisNexis advertise on www.LegalAndrew.com. I would even consider a barter agreement, where LexisNexis could sponsor my blog, and I could receive free research access. Feel free to call or email to discuss this idea.

I sent that on August 13. As of this article’s publication (August 30), I haven’t heard anything back.

That must mean that Lexis doesn’t care about its completely rude behavior. They don’t want to be a member of the online community. They just want to dominate the search engines. Jerks.

No more links from me

I have now removed ALL Lexis links from my websites. It’s the least they deserve. I encourage you do to the same.

Yes, I’m mad. Maybe I’m petty, but that’s ok.

Will Lexis care?

When I wrote about a Fastcase problem, the CEO called me. He worked things out pretty well. Fastcase obviously cares about its users and its online image.

Now I’m curious if anyone from Lexis will contact me about this post. I’ll certainly let you know if they

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I am Here From the Government I am Here to Help You

2009
10.31

There is an old joke or perhaps not such a joke , in these days of President Obama “I am here from the government I am here to help you”.

Beware America – if you thought that the private sector with all it jerk bosses and supervisors was bad…..

The late Ronald Reagan had said that there is nothing more permanent than a government department or institution.  Once in place , it is a cancer that grows and grows.  Its about “spending your budget”.  After all if the budget is not spent it gets taken away.    Inefficiencies are of no concern – indeed they are rewarded with further increases in budgets for more staff and support – after all they are needed to improve things  .  Then due to the larger staff higher pay and benefits are needed for management – with all its enlarged responsibilities and of course for staff members at various levels – as it is necessary to keep “good people”.

America if you think that government can take care of you – lots of luck.  Government cannot even sell you a stamp in an efficient pleasant manner or reissue your drivers license , without you thinking that you are in a penitentiary with its prison grey walls and the staff are in no hurry to serve you – as you will there no doubt for a long time.

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2009
10.31

You most likely have had the pleasure of  “attending”  as a “participant”  ( willing or not) a sales and motivation session.

After all , business for most is bad if not terrible.  Its never a fault of upper management.  After all their perks are sacrosanct and given by the creator him or herself.

Many companies are showing increased bottom lines.  Yet when financial analysts , evaluate the stock market and business data it seems, that it is not as a result of increased sales , or new product releases onto the marketplace but rather mainly due to staff and staffing reductions

Less people to pay on the office , factory or sales floor , hence revenue minus lower expenses yields a greater bottom line.

Wonderful – if you follow this logic GM and Chrysler must have the greatest management in the world whereas in essence while the bottom line increased steadily on the color graphs and charts the company was cannibalized , new product development and research halted , production reduced , and the best and most experienced staff let go.

If they were working for the company , rather than being on pension at least the firm would get some value for their money.  What is left , if any staff are a bunch of  innocuous   ( to upper management ) “yes men”

Regardless of reality if you are lucky enough to attend the “moonie session”  be prepared , regardless of the wordy themes ( building bridges with staff / suppliers , enhanced service levels in 2010,  our customers are our future , our staff is most important to our success etc etc) be prepared to a session on “in 2010 you are Going to HAVE TO LEARN TO JUGGLE !”

Here for your benefit is a lesson on the “art of juggling”  101

Step 1 : Cascade ( One Scarf)

Begin with one scarf in your dominant hand.  Hold it with your palm down , between your thumb , first and second fingers .  The backs of your hands should be visible to you.

With a scooping motion from outside to inside, toss the scarf.  It should go across the center line and peak about 8 inches above your head on the opposite side from which you threw it.

Catch it in your subordinate hand with your palm down.

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